Talk to your partner

ED is not uncommon. About one in ten men have it. Some estimates say that as many as 30 million American men cannot start or complete sexual intercourse because they cannot get an erection that is hard enough.

Impotence or erectile dysfunction is not just a man's problem. It's a "couple's disorder." Involving your partner and discussing how this is affecting both of you is very important and often leads to better communication and understanding between couples and certainly to easier solutions.

ED can affect your relationship on a personal as well as sexual level. Loss of sexual intimacy can lead to loss of personal intimacy and conflict. Dealing with and helping to overcome your partner's ED requires that you address the problem on both levels.

Impotence can change emotions. A man with ED often feels despair and frustration. He may be embarrassed, angry, and depressed. He likely will have a heightened fear of rejection. Often he will feel guilt, shame, grief, and loss.

When a man has ED, both partners often feel very different emotions. This can lead to behavior that is destructive to the individuals and their relationship.

Learn to deal with your partner's ED with patience and love.

Step 1: Learn about ED
Erectile dysfunction is a complex condition that can stem from many causes. It is also a highly treatable condition with a variety of treatment options.The more you know about erectile dysfunction, the better you will be able to cope with it and help your partner overcome it.

Step 2: Communicate with your partner
It may be difficult, but talking can help relieve pressure and anxiety that both your partner and you may be feeling over his ED.

Be supportive - A man may avoid talking about his impotency. It can be both painful and humiliating. He can become so preoccupied with his impotence that he does not see how it is affecting you. You need to be both direct and supportive. Tell your partner that you understand what he is going through, and ask him what you can do to help. Try to separate the physical condition from emotional issues. Tell him that just because he has erectile dysfunction doesn't mean you love him any less.

Be willing to tackle the problem - His ED is your ED. He needs to know that. And telling him can avoid putting him on the defensive. Let him know that erectile dysfunction is common and you want to work with him to resolve it-for his sake and yours. Impotence usually is a physical problem that can be treated. Just as important, it may mask an undiagnosed illness. Getting treatment right away can not only restore your personal relationship but protect his health as well.

Be positive - Don't assess blame. Talk about the excellent chances for treating ED successfully. Talk about what you want and need, not about what is wrong. Let him know that you want to work together to overcome erectile dysfunction.

Stick to the issue - When you talk about erectile dysfunction, avoid arguing over the symptoms. Focus on discussing the ED and what you can do together to solve it, rather than debating its impact on your relationship.

Be positive and non-critical - Give him positive feedback, even if his feelings are negative. This can encourage him to discuss his painful feelings about a sensitive subject.

Step 3: Get treatment
There are therapies available for treating almost all cases of impotence. Treatments for physical ED focus on overcoming circulation and nerve problems that might be caused by disease or injury. These range from drugs such as Viagra®, to penile implants and vacuum erection devices and more.For psychological causes of impotence, therapy and counseling may help.

In addition to treating the cause of ED, many doctors believe in treating its effects upon the relationship. That often means therapy and counseling to heal the psychological and emotional wounds impotence can inflict.

If your partner has ED, you will play a part in his therapy. You may be involved in selecting the best treatment for the cause of his impotence (because the type of treatment can have an effect on your renewed sex life). You and your partner may receive help repairing your relationship.

Don't try to solve ED alone

About one in four Americans confronts chronic impotence in a relationship. It is a major public health problem. Ask your doctor or seek a specialist for information about local support or discussion groups for men, their partners, and couples.